Holding Manchester United to ransom for a £180,000-per-week contract might not rank up there with attempting to blow up the Houses of Parliament, but it's enough for Wayne Rooney to be burnt by the Kent Bonfire Society as their celebrity Guy on Saturday.
If you happen to find the way an out-of-form Rooney ungraciously went about boosting his already ridiculously inflated wages - amid lurid allegations about his private life a bit galling - then watching a 50ft effigy of the striker go up in smoke might prove satisfying.
The giant figure, which has been filled with fireworks, depicts a Shrek-style Rooney holding a copy of his lucrative new five-year contract under one arm and a bag full of cash in his other hand.
The society's spokesman, Charles Laver, said: "I hate football myself so I'm quite happy to burn a footballer. One of our members is a big Man U fan, so he's been advising us on getting all the details of the kit just right." Past celebrity Guys include Gordon Brown, Russell Brand and Katie Price.
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